I’ve neglected my blog by letting the every day life of the job get in my way but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy in other ways.  Since my last post in January I was home for 3 days and back on the road around the 1st of February. A very sad event happened which was the death of my Aunt whom I’d moved close to in Florida.  I left the road a week earlier than I’d planned so I could spend some time with my Uncle and cousins, two of which flew in from California. She was a great woman and we have talked in the past about the spiritual side of life. She told me about a small town in Florida years ago called Casadega that has a large concentration of psychics in it. I visited there some years after she told me about that place, with my significant other, while we were vacationing in Florida. Unfortunately I didn’t even get to see any of those family members in the 3 days I was home. They were all mourning the loss of their mother/wife and didn’t want other family.  I respected their wishes and did not visit.

In my off time while driving I’ve been spending alot of time reading about spirituality and with specific study on the phenomena of 11:11.   The phenomena has a few different meanings depending on the culture that interprets it, however they are all fairly similar. Basically it means a couple of things: A time for new beginnings or you are on the right track.  I have a knack for looking at the clock at that time.  Also any number in triplets can be a good sign IE 111, 333 etc..

Not long after my last post there was a particular instance that happened that gave me a sign that I’m on path of seeking spiritual enlightenment.  I was driving south on I75 in Georgia.  I had left just south of Nashville a few hours earlier and when I woke up was reading posts on facebook.  A friend posted a link to the significance of  11:11 the night before and I smiled as I again have been seeing people close to me also waking up to the phenomena.   Now back to driving in Georgia.  I thought back to reading that post earlier and then I happened to look at the mile marker I was passing. It was mile marker 333.  I smiled and said out loud to myself (I often speak out loud when driving alone to either myself or God or anyone else that is listening) “Wow imagine that!”  Then I looked at the clock on sure enough, it was 11:11 AM!!  I was astounded!  Mile marker 333 at 11:11.  What are the chances of that?  I said a prayer after that and spent the next many miles thanking the universe for showing me the right path.

Now I’m going to mention something else that happened a few weeks ago. I was driving north on I85 north from Atlanta.  It was close to midnight and of course I was watching the clock so I caught the clock turning to 11:11 PM.  Around this same time my thoughts were bringing me back to a dream I had many years ago.

<off topic>  This happened around 2002-2003 when I was living by myself in Sacramento.  At this point of my life I had been researching meditation and channeling and had spent many hours trying to connect with my spirit guide.  I’ve always trouble with meditation getting my mind to “quite” down and wipe it clear of all thought.  This is nearly an impossible task for me to accomplish and always has been.  My mind just can’t seem to go for more than a few minutes before some kind of random thought enters it.  I’ve often felt discouraged when trying to connect with my guide because I just can’t seem to quite my mind enough, or concentrate on getting my mind to keep a vibration to be able to successfully connect.  Anyway I had a dream one night that after having it I woke up from a dead sleep and felt overwhelmed by what I just experienced.

I remember the dream starting with me being on a train, like an Amtrak or commuter train you see in major cities.  There was nobody else on the train, I was by myself.   Then the train went underwater and was traveling like in a tunnel or small river. I could see the banks of the river very close to the windows of the train.  I was bewildered at this point.  But the sights and the colors I was seeing out the window were mesmerizing. Much like the ride at Disneyland I believe is called 10,000 leagues under the sea or The Nautilus.  But the colors were so beautiful. Suddenly the dream shifted to me being on a train to me being under the water.  At no time was I afraid or feeling threatened. I felt very happy at what I was experiencing. I then came to a point where there was an opening from the tunnel to where I could exit the water.  I came out and was standing at the edge of a thick forest full of small pine trees. I began walking through the trees and was still amazed at the color of the trees and the the sound of the wind blowing through them was like music. Not long after I entered the forest I came to a clearing.  The clearing in the middle of the forest was pretty much circular with tall grass and in the center of the clearing was a single tree stump.  The beauty of this clearing was awe inspiring to me.  I called this place “The Meadow.” I felt at complete peace here, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.  I began walking to the stump in the middle of the meadow.  It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Not because it was made of anything spectacular or that it had any kind of markings, it’s just the vibe it was putting out.  I sat down on the stump and again felt at complete peace and was just amazed.  It was the most comfortable thing I had ever sat upon. It felt like it was made for me.  At this point and time I felt “aware” that I was dreaming.  Like I had the thoughts of the comfort-ability of the stump and the exquisite beauty of the meadow but at the same time I was aware that this was also a dream. I began thinking to myself: “This is the best dream I’ve ever had!” It feels so real!  This is incredible!

At this point, while I’m thinking about how amazing this dream was I was having, I became aware of another presence, just within the tree line of the meadow.  I could completely sense it’s presence watching me from just inside the trees where I couldn’t see it but I knew it was there.  I wasn’t afraid at all of the presence.  I acknowledged the presence as being there and suddenly it came out of the trees into view.  Again, nothing spectacular about it.  It was like a hooded figure of a person but I couldn’t make out if it was female or male.  But it put out such a feeling of peace I think I began to weep in my sleep.  It slowly made it’s way towards me.  It wasn’t walking, more like just gliding towards me.  I couldn’t see any definable body parts, it was more like a brown hooded cloak being worn by an invisible body.  Even though inside the cloak I could not make out a body, I was fully aware it was a living thing, not an inanimate object coming towards me but again I was in no way afraid of it.  And at the same time I felt like I knew who it was.  I was seeing it for the first time but felt like I’d known it all my life.  It got up just in front of me and I extended my hand out to it.  (I refer to it as “it” because again, it didn’t feel like feminine or masculine) It then seemed to embrace me filling me with absolute peace and joy.  It then greeted me with a name that I can’t tell you what that name was.  The best way for me to explain it was it gave me a name that couldn’t be spoken.  It was a name without a name type thing.  I still to this day don’t know how else to refer to this being other than the “presence” because I can’t put into words what the name is or was.  It then told me (without speaking) that this place was my place of peace.  I could come here any time I wanted but I couldn’t stay, just visit.  It was at this point I called this place “The Meadow.”

The Meadow didn’t necessarily feel like “heaven,” but just a place of absolute peace. I didn’t spend much more time there after making contact with the presence.  And again I’ll stress I was well aware that I was dreaming.  And it was pretty much at this point, when I was aware I was dreaming, that I was suddenly whisked away from the stump, through the trees and into the river and suddenly “thump” I awoke from the dream like someone had just dropped me from a few feet above my mattress.  Like I was out of my body and suddenly “fell” back into it.  I awoke feeling like I just returned from actually being there in the meadow.  I remembered the dream as clearly as I can still, after 15 years, remember it now.  I remember that dream of being in the meadow as clearly as I remember being in Springfield Missouri two days ago.  It was such a profound dream that I got up and walked around my darkened apartment just to make sure I was actually awake and not still dreaming.  It was hard to tell what was real and what was a dream at that point.  I wrote down everything I had just experienced in a notebook somewhere that has long been lost.  When I moved from that apartment I left all the furniture, bed, tables, just about most of my worldly possessions in that apartment for my brother that moved in after I left.  He was coming from a troubled time in his life and I was helping him get started again with leaving him my stuff as much as he helped me not have to find a place to get rid of it.  It was moving from that apartment that I moved out of California to near Chicago with my still current significant other.

Over the course of the next few years I’ve had brief visits to the meadow in dreams but nothing nearly as profound as that initial dream.  I’ve tried many times to meditate myself there when drifting off to sleep but still haven’t felt like I’ve been there like I was the night of that dream.

<Topic>  Now I’ll get back to driving on I85 north through Georgia. As I mentioned I was thinking back to my dream of the meadow and my desire to get back there. When 11:11 came I started thinking to myself maybe I should start looking for signs that will help me get back there.  I believe the dream was the only time I’ve really felt I connected with my spirit guide or an Angel I don’t know.  For the next thirty or so minutes after 11:11 I was looking at mile markers again, and road signs just trying to find something interesting.  At this time I felt I needed to relieve my bladder as I’d been driving many hours straight without stopping.  I was nearing the South Carolina border as new there would be a rest area just across the state line as there always is.  I crossed the state line and shortly came to the exit for the welcome center off exit 1.  It is also the exit for SR 11.  ”Wow, is this just a coincidence or is this a sign?” I was thinking to myself.  Exit 1 SR 11 (111) after looking for a sign for my thoughts on “The Meadow.”  I found a parking spot and immediately started looking for more signs.  ”Could this be the actual location of  The Meadow?”  I handled my business and went back to the truck thinking I should walk out into the forest and see if what I was thinking was right. It was the night of the new moon I believe (Jan 20th) so it was  completely  dark outside of the lights of the rest area so I thought better of trying to trip my way though the forest blind. Instead I needed a 30 minute break anyway so I got in the sleeper of the truck and tried to meditate and see if I had any revelations.  I ended up falling asleep for a short while and woke up not feeling I accomplished anything.  But once again the numbers signs seemed to add up to something but alas I guess not.  It just seemed very profound to me at the time.  I’ve since looked at google earth at that rest area and haven’t seen any actual places around that looked like “The Meadow” with a circular clearing in the middle of a pine forest.

So I don’t know if my meadow actually exists on earth or it’s just a spiritual place in my mind.  I’m still looking for a way to connect with my spirit guide as well.  I’ve read many books on channeling and have tried different techniques for meditating but have not yet found anything that works.  The closest I’ve felt to making any kind of connection with a spiritual being through meditating has been when I’ve used marijuana.  I can’t use that now while holding a commercial licence as I’m subject to random drug testing at any given moment.  Since drug tests can’t discern if you’re actually under the influence of THC (the active chemical that makes you “high” in marijuana) but rather just detect whether it’s in your system, I can’t risk using it.  THC stays in your system for weeks after you use it.  It’s detectable from urinalysis for up to 30 days after you use it and detectable in your hair for months after use.  So I can’t use this as a tool for meditation. It’s amazing to me that the drug is still illegal in the US.  You’ll read dual things on the use in marijuana as a tool for attuning  with ones spiritual side. One side will say it facilitates the quieting of the ego to allow a connection with ones spirit guide/angel/soul whatever.  Then the other side says that is simply the effect of the drug and not any connection at all. Believe which ever suits you, I’m not going to tell you which is right and which is wrong,  that is simply a matter of opinion.

The last thing I’ll mention what I’ve been up to since my last blog is I’ve made contact with a couple of old very close friends I used to have years ago.  First I was able to message a friend (I haven’t talked to directly in a couple years through facebook)  He and I used to be very close in the 90′s.  He and I were very in tune with each other and could pretty much read each others minds and thoughts with ease.  We used to even be able to think collectively and plant thoughts or actions into other peoples minds.  Yeah I know, it sounds ludicrous but I’m telling you it happened.  One particular night we were with a couple of girls and he and I quietly agreed to try and make them get itches on their bodies and would concentrate those thoughts onto one of them and bigger than shit she would start scratching.  She wasn’t aware we were trying to do this so she was oblivious to what we were trying to do.  Once again that could be argued as pure coincidence.  I won’t go into any more detail on that as I know how most are going to view it.  I also contacted another old friend I had while in the Army.  He was pretty much my closest friend I had while serving.  I only saw him one other time a few years after I got out of the Army. So I haven’t talked to him in over 20 years. I am trying to rekindle those past friendships but seem to be running into a block with it from their ends.  It seems they both have alot going on in their perspective lives and don’t have time to talk on the phone.  Oh well, I’ve tried!

I’ve also been spending many many hours on the phone with my current best friend that still lives near Sacramento.  He is between jobs and has had alot of time to talk on the phone.  We literally will have 4-5 hour conversations on the phone and talk mostly on the state of the world and the current take over of the United States (and world) by global elitists. We have also talked about finding a way to open the mind’s eye. (third eye) The third eye is a nickname given to a gland which is situated at the base of the brain known as the Pineal  gland.  I will make a separate post on that at a later time.

So where do I go from here?  I want to try and concentrate my time on finding a job that gets me home every day instead of spending weeks on the road and only home for a few days.  In the meantime I think I’ve made good strides in lessening the negative thinking that seems to rule my life and bad karma.  Trying to be a more spiritual person has helped that tremendously.  I can only go up from here I suppose is the answer.