Some years after launching my interest in writing, I’m finally getting back to actually writing again. I’ve had a passion for writing since I was in high school. But to the contrary, I’ve never really been much of a reader. Only certain genres interest me but when I find something I like, I go on a binge of reading, until I’ve read everything that is offered. My “go to” in my teens and twenties were fantasy novels. I fell in love with the “Dragonlance” series of books by authors Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, which started with the 1984 release of “Dragons of Autumn Twilight.” I read the series and any other Dragonlance books that came out between 1984 and 1988 when I entered the military, right after graduating high school.

The first book I ever read from cover to cover (in about 2 days) was “The Exorcist” by William Peter Blatty. I was only around 12 years old when I read it and I couldn’t put it down. I read the book before ever seeing the movie, so the movie wasn’t as scary to me. I was very fascinated by the story and was intrigued that it was loosely based on a true story. So, you could say this is where I got my first interest in the paranormal.

The real fire for my interest with spirituality, metaphysics, and the paranormal was ignited with a book I read in 1997 called “Opening To Channel: How to connect with your guide” by Sanaya Roman. This book was my first real introduction to channeling and mediumship. I read that book in a day and went and got all the other Sanaya Roman books I could find. I was hooked. These books were like an affirmation we have Spirit Guides in our life that are with us all the time. I always felt this was true and reading it in print was a rush.

Shortly after reading all the books from Sanaya Roman, I got my first Tarot reading at the same metaphysical bookstore I bought all those books, from a reader by the name of Catherine Angel Lord. She used a deck of “Angel Cards” which are similar to Tarot. During the reading she mentioned a couple of times that I drew some powerful cards and asked me if I ever experienced things in my life I couldn’t explain or if I heard voices also known as “Clairaudience.” At that time in my life, I wasn’t aware of any outside voices I ever heard so I told her I didn’t.  (It wasn’t until years later I’d come to realize things I used to hear and see as a child were suppressed in my memory, things I will write about in my blog at a later time.) She then asked me a very strange question. “Have you ever had a bad head injury in your life?” No, aside from a little league baseball practice where the coach was hitting fly balls, and I got under one and watched it go all the way……over my glove and hit me in the head. I buckled to the ground more so out of embarrassment than an injury.

And so it began, my interest in contacting my spirit guide or any angelic being that would talk to me. I got books on learning to meditate so I could enter the trance necessary to make contact with my guide. And I practiced. And failed. Then practiced some more. Then failed. What was I failing at? Actually, hearing any voices in my head or seeing some sort of apparition I was pretty much expecting to see. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t able to make contact with my guide. Oh, hell with it, I STILL can’t figure out why I don’t hear voices in my head. Or do I? Maybe I just have the wrong expectation of what the experience would be like of communicating with a guide. I still have very much to learn. You see after 6 years of really trying to quiet my mind I pretty much gave up. And all these years later, although I’m still a firm believer in channeling and psychic phenomenon, I’m no more a psychic than I am a successful businessman. You see in 2003 I met the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. My wife Dawn. We’ve been together for 21 years and my life has become so much richer and filled with blessings. (Which I fail to remember from time to time. No fuck it, all the time)

At the time I met her I was living alone in Sacramento, CA in a little 1-bedroom apartment and working construction and driving truck. There is an entire story behind how our relationship started but I will get to that story on a later blog post. The quick version is met online while playing the video game “The Sims Online.” We talked for many months on the phone and online before I flew out to meet her at her home near Chicago, IL. My life was forever changed for the better. Two children and all the years later, we’re still going strong. To say the least my life took a huge change from the divorced, living alone man I was in California to where I am today.

Not long after I met Dawn my interest in spirituality was still there, although I wasn’t actively trying to meditate and contact spirits, I have always held on to the desire. You see when I moved to Chicago and started my new family, the stress of life took over and I was pouring everything I was into working every day to support my family as best I knew how. I did however take an online course in writing at the Longwood University. I wrote mainly speculative fiction stories for my assignments. I was chasing a dream I had ever since asking the spirits for guidance. I believe that the only outside voice in my head I had ever heard, told me that I was to write a book. It was a natural thought; I had always loved to write but I just wasn’t an avid reader. And reading is sort of a thing you need to do if you want to write.

Over the next 15 or so years, I’ve always wished I had been more serious about writing. You see I had a fear inside of putting my thoughts and opinions out for anyone to read. I let the fear of rejection and conflict get in my way of my dream. Well, I’m tired of wishing and allowing the “should of, would of, could of” be the controlling factors in my life. So, I’m heading into the future with actually doing something I’ve been wanting to do for many years. After all, nobody will read, let alone badly critique anything if I’m not even writing anything at all. So here I go.

What should you expect from Changingbadkarma.com? The introspection of a novice writer with some knowledge and experience of how to be a semi-mindless slave to the grind to being a more well-rounded spiritual person free of the gravity of bad karma.  I’ll blossom my craft in this blog with things that come from the mind of a pessimistic thinker and social introvert to a writer with a purpose. Hopefully I find that purpose soon. I ask that you come along for the ride and maybe learn a thing or two about getting out of the funk of life to truly living free. Or a reasonable facsimile. I hope that my stories will inspire another to make the change as well.